I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I just blew my weed a kiss
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Randomize
