420 ftw
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
