i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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