i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Damn victory sex feels great
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
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