How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
