I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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