just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
i love accidental penises.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
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