He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
