Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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