Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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