We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Randomize
