I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
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