dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
no. you can't hotbox the world.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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