there's paper in my vomit.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
