I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
The air taste purple.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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