covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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