We're facebook friends in real life
haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
