just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
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