you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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