moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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