Tell her she can't have a vagina
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
