Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
