Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
My vagina just recognized that song.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
i've created a new STD.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
