He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
wow bdsm is so cute
Randomize
