Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Randomize
