the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Please don't give away my fajitas
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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