I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
