I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Just pee around me
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
