Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
