Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
