dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
This baby is an asshole
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
