this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize