she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize