I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
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