a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
