You kept calling me your small dog last night.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
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