No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I would fuck him just for his dog
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
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