I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize