Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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