you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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