i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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