is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize