Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
