Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
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