You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
