Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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