You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
