I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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