I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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