I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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