Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Randomize