I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
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