I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
