do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I fill condoms, not promises.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
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