Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
