yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
