sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Randomize
