you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Randomize