there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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