Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Randomize
