If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
my sisters under your porch take her home
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
