So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize
