Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
