I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
